Childhood (Blogging Challenge Day 11) - Sarah Negus Spiritual Mentor

What is your Inner Child craving for and why aren't you giving it to her?

I know you've heard of your Inner Child. Heck, I know you know she is your creativity, she is your joy, she is your wonder and she is your ability to love. Even more than that, I know you know your experiences as a small child shaped your beliefs and therefore how you experience life as the adult you are now.

So why do you ignore her?

Why do you beat yourself up inside when you don't create the posts, the blogs, the books, the interaction as well as you think you should? Why do you avoid connecting with others for fear of rejection, of not being understood of simply not being liked? Why do you feel victimized and small in the World? And why oh why are you still working on the energy of not being good enough?

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BECAUSE, when you were small, before you were able to articulate your feelings and explain your needs, when you were small and needed to rely on others to survive, you buried your ideas. When you were small, you simply adjusted to fit in and be like those around you.

When I was a little girl, my world was full of fairies, angels, colourful energy, sparks of light, messages and knowing my spiritual guides. When I was small I could read the energy of every individual I came across and the collective energy in a room and when I was small I could dance, sing, paint and create amazing stories.

I learned though, that this world I saw, heard and felt so clearly, was imaginary, make believe, dangerous and silly. I learned it made the adults around me afraid, and I learned that it was very much better to hide it, ignore it and bury it within me. I also learned that my voice was better silenced, my ideas not worth speaking and that my value was worthless. These were my beliefs as a small girl. These beliefs stayed with me for years and led me to live a life where I pleased everyone else around me and gave my ideas and my power away, became chronically ill and trapped in a body wracked with pain.

That's not the case today. I began working on my Inner Child around 20 years ago, with a year long program of workshops, designed to look within the energy of my Inner Child from pre-conception to adulthood. It was a wonderful experience, not without its humour, and full of lessons. Not the least, the idea that I (one of 12 other participants) was a fraud. You see, the others on the course all knew of their traumas, they remembered their childhood and could recount the situations that led them to their wounding. All I had to say at the time was, "I was jealous when my sister was born" and "My Dad used to like a drink". What happened though, as I worked more and more deeply into my unconscious, with the help of my spiritual teacher, in a deep meditative state, I began to remember. You see, I'd buried my memories so deep that all I remembered was that I was a child, I'd had a childhood, it was ok with nothing to report....... this is a clue..... a clue of what lies beneath.

There was actually lots and lots to report, and over the period of that year back in the late 1990s I uncovered it, cried, was horrified, felt sad, loss, anger and many more emotions. WHEW! Then, I began to love my little girl, I integrated her into my inner world and allowed her a voice. I threw away the cloak of the victim and realised my adult self. After all, I wanted to be whole. I wanted to love and be loved and I wanted to help others do the same.

Today that is real in my life, I am a spiritual mentor, the Modern Day Shaman, and I offer individual and group programs to facilitate the journey of self discovery, growth, and connection in my clients. I love my work, and am grateful to my life experiences, for without them I couldn't do what I do.

Now is the time for you too! Let's work together to uncover what lies beneath your surface. Lets get up close and personal with all the things you've buried that are holding you back. Lets open up the cracks of your life to let the light shine in on your amazing potential so you can be whole, worthy and super creative.

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Leave a Reply 2 comments

Kevin - 21st December 2016 Reply

Thank you, Sarah, for this beautiful account of a journey of reintegration. Most of us strive to be authentic but it’s quite true that we cannot live authentically until we are whole. This post describes that process, and much more, with great clarity and your own authenticity shines from the page. Our child is one of our most powerful and liberating assets when we allow it to play it’s part in informing our thoughts and actions, giving it freedom to speak with conviction and confidence. Thank you for this wonderful blog. I have continued to “read it with care” as you requested in your first post and it gives me so much in return.

Kevin

    Sarah - 1st January 2017 Reply

    It took me a long time to remember my childhood, or to play. Now though it is something I do all the time, it brings such riches.

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