We’ve all heard about the ‘not good enough’ wound, right? Or imposter syndrome? But, what lies beneath them. What actual things – instead of concepts do women find themselves coming up against in business?
There are a few:-
1. Women are terrible at shouting out for themselves.
They may have won the Nobel Peace Prize, but will diminish such achievements, so as not to ‘boast’. So, get out there and tell the World all you have done, acknowledge your gifts, your wins and celebrate your contribution to our global consciousness.
2. Life will have been full of unique experiences that others are just waiting to resonate with, it is all about sharing and growing after all….
But what do we do, tell ourselves, it didn’t matter, or who will want to hear about that, it’s nothing after all? These are a sure fire sign that it is time for you to share your life, your message and know that it does matter, it is interesting and the life you live is an absolute gift to you and others around you.
3. As a daughter you will have been taught to give, to nurture, to care. So much so, that over-giving is second nature.
The sort of giving where you measure all you have done and then look around expecting others to notice. Ding Dong, time to stop giving to everyone else and begin giving to yourself. If you are wanting recognition for your being it has to start within. Ask yourself what your over-giving is for, what does it bring you and how can you give those things to yourself. It is a game changer and will mean you give from your heart rather than for a need for validation.
4. It took a long time for scholarly equality, so now in our world of education we over-value learning and ignore the spontaneous intuitive wisdom that so women have.
Stop learning externally, begin your inner exploration of yourself. This is where experience and knowledge come together and create wisdom. You may have a Phd in your chosen subject and be an expert in your field, but if you do not know yourself, if you ignore your inner intuition it can be hard to find your purpose or your path.
5. Pleasing everyone but ourselves means that we are dishonest with our own needs and likes and wants.
This in inauthenticity at its height. Take a step back, and decide it is you that needs to be pleased. Show the World who you really are, what you really like and how much you value yourself and you will find your life changes and you are able to receive experiences that mean you light up.
6. Asking for help feels like failure and can become the hardest thing to do, even when burnout is rising on the horizon.
Asking for help means you have to be willing to receive it and that means allowing yourself to be vulnerable. Doing it all is not sexy, doing it all is not healthy, delegating effectively is, sharing responsibility is. Look around your life and identify what you love to do, what you like to do and what you hate to do, understand that you can never fail, only learn and grow.
7. Self-advocacy – what’s that?
You know when you see an opportunity and go for it, explaining you can and you are great, and you are absolutely confident you will. This is one of the favourite things I teach. Write a list of all your strengths and celebrate them. Write a list of all your weaknesses and celebrate them too they are all you in your wholeness.
8. We build networks, and communities but when it comes to leveraging a relationship, we fall short.
This is a lovely exercise, think of someone you revere, who feels out of reach and then map out how many people you know between them and you. You’ll be surprised at how close they are.
9. Multi-tasking is a strength that can turn into a limitation especially when you get busy in the job of your business rather than building the blocks for your vision.
Spend time every week reconnecting with your vision for your life, notice the small tasks that you do that get in your way of your vision, are the relevant or useful, or are they habit.
10. It can be hard to let go of the slights, the wounds, the ways of the past, forever holding onto things that live in years gone by.
Delving into your sub-conscious mind to uncover hidden patterns of behaviour is the most important thing you can do when on a journey of self-awareness. Spend time detailing past situations and events that you still think about. Reframe the power they have over you. What did you learn from them, how have they made you stronger. Let go.
11. Your intuition is a gift but it can become a distraction, taking you away from your main focus whatever that is.
You can be sensitive to so many things happening that your focus wanders and you become scattered. Spend time grounding your own energy, getting to know your own intuitive voice intimately, come back to your own needs and wants and your own vision and take action from there.
12. Believe you are too much of anything.
Somewhere, somehow, someone didn’t like your loudness, your sensitivity, your passion, your positivity, your laughter, your expressiveness, your brightness. Right now own your ‘too much’ and know this is your spiritual self, your personal power and your way to your best self.
Whew, these are juicy. They may overlap, you may resonate strongly with one and not others, or they may evoke a recognition in you of something other.
However they land, noticing your own behaviour is the first step to overcoming your limitations, usually they are habits imposed over time that feel safe and secure. Safe and secure, my darling, does not build growth. So pull up your big girl pants and go and get busy in recognising your pattern of holding yourself back.