Increasing your emotional vibration is something we all could do with, yes even me. Increasing your emotional vibration is another way of describing inner work. You know the stuff we do when we want to be better than we are. The stuff we do when we want to develop our emotional intelligence. Our emotional intelligence quota and our emotional vibration go hand in hand, they are the proverbial chicken and the egg.
Emotions are energy in motion (e-motion) and they are how we experience our lives, our emotions affect our vibrational frequency so it makes sense that developing your emotional intelligence will increase your emotional vibration.
Emotional intelligence is a phrase first coined by two researchers, Peter Salavoy and John Mayer, it was popularised by Dan Goleman in his 1996 book – Emotional Intelligence. It describes the ability to recognise, understand and manage our own emotions, so in my ‘speak’ it describes self-mastery. And it describes the ability to recognise and influence emotions in others, in my language, this means knowing oneself well, being centred in a place of personal power and responding with compassion and understanding for others in their own life’s experience whatever that is.
So developing your emotional intelligence is the way to increase your emotional vibration.
Our emotional vibration does ebb and flow, depending on what is going on around us, as I’ve explained in my blog ‘What Are the Signs of a Low Vibration’ , this ebb and flow of vibration is normal, it is living, it is experiencing.
BUT.. emotional intelligence evolves and in its evolution our vibration increases, so that whenever we find ourselves facing a difficult situation our ebb and flow isn’t a full sink hole, but merely a blip in the path.
So lets get down to the nitty gritty.
Never mind where you are in terms of your emotional intelligence quota, you will be able to develop and increase this and in doing so increase your emotional vibration.
A large part of your behaviour is governed by your unconscious, this is now accepted by science. Science is in fact accepting all sorts of ‘out there’ things. A study carried out by the former professor of medicine at Stanford University, Dr Bruce Lipton has shown that our genes are in fact controlled and manipulated by how our minds perceive and interpret our environment rather than our minds and our thoughts being a result of our genetics as previously thought (as I write this, it seems obvious to me that it is this way around and I wonder why science needed to ‘prove’ what I know to be the way my body mind and soul live).
As usual I digress, this is how MY mind works, a little bit like a spider has crawled over a map leaving a web of connections…
So, back to your unconscious mind….. scientists have shown that pretty much all of our decisions, actions, emotions and behaviour depend on 95% of our brain activity that is beyond our awareness, which means that 95% of our life comes from our unconscious, that’s quite a lot.
If you think about some of the things you do, eating with a knife and fork, walking, driving a car, writing and reading, all of these things you had to learn, consciously learn. But once mastered they become unconscious, you don’t have to consciously re-learn how to drive or write every time you do it, you just do it. And, if you are anything like me sometimes you will have driven your car somewhere without even remembering the journey.. how unconscious is that?
Our unconscious or as I call it our Shadow, holds the information of every single thing we have ever experienced and/or learned, from birth (as well as pre-birth in terms of past lives) up to now. All of this information is stored ready for use when needed. The trouble is a high percentage of it is responds to situations you weren’t emotionally mature enough to manage, so much of this stored experience is based on the perception of a small vulnerable child, or of a frightened teenager, or of an angry adult. This programming doesn’t grow more mature as we do, it stays the same evoking behaviour unconsciously that harks back to the time of the initial experience.
The key to developing your emotional intelligence and raising your emotional vibration lies here, within you, in mastering or taming your shadow.
By building your awareness of your triggers, your emotions and your behaviour patterns you create a map of your unconscious, building your self awareness. In doing this, your understanding of yourself grows. You give yourself the gift of freedom of choice, a chance to observe yourself as you move through your life, you take responsibility for you, in all of your actions, emotions, thoughts and behaviours and in doing that you increase your emotional vibration.
Here is my 3 part process on how to do this.
- Notice what triggers you. We all have those points of grrr! Often though we look outside of ourselves to blame those around us for not being kind, not being sensitive, or for being too angry or too controlling. It is never the outside though that ‘makes’ us feel things. Our feelings are our own, they are already there, the situations that come towards us give us an opportunity to look at our own part in them and see what they are pointing an arrow at. This is the first step, become your own observer, notice what triggers you. It may help to journal your life over a few weeks, it can make it easier to notice the patterns that show up.
- Lean into the emotions that are evoked from the trigger. Anger, sadness, rage, jealousy, shame, all come from the root of not being heard, not being seen, not being good enough, not feeling worthy of love. Identify where these feelings impact your body, recognise them within you, let them go if you can, if not accept them as part of you for now.
- Recognise the behaviour that the trigger and the emotion bring up. Is it the small child throwing her toys out of her pram, is it the frightened little girl afraid of speaking out, is it the people pleaser wanting to be liked. Once you recognise your behaviour, you can decide to change it. After all, you are a full grown adult, with personal power, insight and an evolved emotional intelligence.
Ultimately, self-mastery allows you to choose to feel happy, content, at peace, calm and joyful at any given time. It brings the ability to see the smoking gun of your unconscious trigger and to neatly side step the bullet of emotion usually felt squarely in the gut. It means choosing to behave as the conscious adult you are, one that sets the intention to be the best you can be in any given moment. In doing that you will have developed your emotional intelligence and raised your emotional vibration.