How to Overcome the “Push Me, Pull Me” Energy of Self Doubt and Say YES to Your Life

What do you do when your heart says YES! but your monkey mind chatter says NO!

And I’m betting your monkey mind is loud and difficult to ignore.

I suggest a BIG reframe here.  

Your monkey mind is actually a signal that you are ready to go.  That what you are saying yes to will definitely expand your life, lift your energy and move you towards love and your potential.

So, pay attention.  Notice your resistances, journal what you are saying to yourself.  This gets it out of your head, moves the emotion associated with it (usually some form of anxiety, guilt, sadness or fear, anger, jealousy, or despondency) and actually manifests them into the written word, something that you can look at in black and white.

It gives you a chance to examine them.  They will be excuses, lies, out-dated beliefs and they will usually be coming through on the energy of the past.  NOW, the past will only hold power over you if you let it.  AND, the way to release any energetic bonds to past situations or ways of being is to acknowledge the situation, accept your part in it, search for what you learned and then let it go with gratitude for the lesson and celebration that you are still standing to live another day.

A few years ago I went through a sudden, deep loss.  A relationship I thought was ‘the one’ ended suddenly.  The decision was not mine, and it wasn’t done kindly.  I fact it turned out that the whole relationship was a farce, everything I had thought was an absolute lie.  Not only was I devastated in rejection, I felt silly, duped, ridiculous because I hadn’t read the energy, I’d been so tied up in the feeling of immense excitement and what I thought was love.  Looking back I see it was obsession.


It took months for me to get over, I lost weight, I retreated and hardly went out.  I focused on my business, my dogs (they loved me whatever) and I started to outline a plan of how I wanted my next relationship to be.

I actually wrote a detailed ‘pitch’ or ‘sales page’ or ‘plan’ of who I wanted my life to be shared with.  How I would feel, what he would bring to my life and how we would grow together.  I spent hours on this, journalling, thinking about it, wondering how I would meet him, and I began to go out, after all I needed to give the Universe a chance to send him to me.

Within 6 weeks I’d met him, we connected immediately, I knew it was different because instead of that ungrounded, I can’t eat or sleep feeling, I felt calm and at peace, and it was fun, I laughed and cried with him and both were ok.  

THEN… I nearly messed it up.

Yep.. my monkey mind kicked in… talking to me as though the rejection, hurt and lies I’d experienced before were going to happen again.  It was overwhelming, I listened, and I ended the relationship.

Did I feel relieved, nope.. I felt all of the rejection and hurt from the past bubbling up inside me, I also felt ridiculous again because I’d passed this chance by.  I decided to journal, to look at my fears rationally, in black and white and to reframe them into positives.

Then when I was clear, when I was sure within myself, when I had embedded all the reasons why YES in my heart, energy and mind I got back in touch with Stuart and we’ve been growing together ever since.

So, whenever something comes towards you that is going to push you to a place that feels scary, be brave, unwrap the excuses running around in your monkey mind, put the past to bed and reframe your future into something magical.

Stop the push me pull me energy of the self doubt, and choose to live bravely into your potential.

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