I’ve always had an affinity with ancient Egypt. From a young age, I would stand with my hands above my head, finger tips touching and move my head from side to side. I would have visions of Seckmet, the Egyptian goddess depicted as a lioness, the warrior goddess and powerful healer, but not understand at that young age what I was seeing. I’ve got connections to that land in this lifetime too.
My mother came to England in the 1950s as a refugee. When she was 13 years old, she came on a boat to Marseille and then a train to England. She didn’t speak any English, only French, Italian, and Arabic. She was born in Cairo, lived in the European sector of the city, her family were Italian and she grew up looking out onto the pyramids everyday. Her mother (Annette) was only 15 when she was born, and by the time my mother was 2 years old, Annette had married an American GI, had another baby and moved to Texas. She didn’t take my mother with her, she was left to be brought up by her grandmother.
My mother has always felt different, not surprisingly. She was different, she looks Italian, she has olive skin, she has an accent, she was alone. Three years after arriving her in the UK she had met my Dad, two years later at the age of 18 married him. Very quickly looking for stability, a sense of family and someone to love her.
Interestingly, these are all things that I have carried through my life. As a small child, I felt very different, back in the 1970’s they still made fun of you at school if you had a different heritage. My nickname was ‘monkey’, because I had olive skin, black curly unruly hair and a full mouth. My peers used to follow me around, teasing me that I had an Egyptian ‘mummy’. I felt alone, I looked for stability in friendships and romantic relationships without finding it, my sense of family was small and I didn’t feel worthy of love..
A lot of these things were picked up unconsciously from my mother and her journey. I always like to help, so even as a small child I empathized with her and her journey (you see, I knew more than she thought I did because I could see her energy). I carried this ancestral wounding into my life, taking on her way with others, looking quietly to see how people would react to me. Not trusting others, not trusting the World, hiding my inner self away because I thought no one would like me.
I though, had a secret weapon. Seckmet the warrior goddess and healer, has been a constant companion, she whispers in my ear ‘be brave’ and I am. She shows me the emotional wounding to heal and I do. I’ve worked through limiting beliefs taken on from my mother ‘I am different and I don’t fit in’ to ‘I love my unique self and all that I have to offer’ and I am the best version of me that I can be in any given moment.
I’ve been back to Egypt, although my mother has not. My journey was in 2011, the crowds of tourists were staying away so I had a free reign to look around, and look around I did. The Pyramids, Luxor, the Valley of the Kings, Mount Sinai. It was an amazing trip, the Grand Pyramid is the throat chakra of the Earth and a huge power site. I have many dreams (waking and sleeping) of lifetimes in ancient Egypt, and I journey in meditation with many of the clients there. I’ve spent time in the tombs of the Kings, the sleeping energy and the imagery on the walls of the burial chambers vibrant and somehow still holding meaning for our time. I visited the temple of Queen Hatshesput, a female pharaoh who ruled for 22 years, hiding her femininity beneath a false beard, ruling fiercely, building many temples and invading new lands.
WOW! What a Woman.